Thursday, May 9, 2013

19 things I've learned in 19 years

Hi Blog.
Whelp, I'm officially 19 years young and that means I'm one away from 20 which makes me feel ancient. I can't believe I've made it 19 years without doing something super dumb. (Everyone clap). I sure have had my fair share of embarrassing moments, time outs from mom and dad for beating my brothers up (and making them cry), and many other learning experiences. Elder Holland says what you do know will always trump what you don't know. I like that. I don't know a lot, but what I have learned in 19 years of living goes as follows...

1. When your dad asks you, "Are we on the same page?" The answer should ALWAYS be yes! Even if he is on page 134 and you are on page 55, "yes" is the one syllable that follows. Are we on the same page?
2. I've learned that when your Mom is happy, everyone is happy. (Including your eardrums and your social life and the clean socks on your feet)
3. When you are asked to put away your laundry, do not shove it underneath your bed! Your mother has X-ray vision and before you can even turn the door knob to bolt it to your friend's house you'll hear your name 10 octaves higher then you want to.... (I learned this the hard way, at least twice) take it or leave it..
4. When Dad says no, ask Mom.
5. When Mom says no, cry.
6. When you hear "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you" ---I don't know I still haven't gotten this one figured out.
Okay enough about the rents... Let's talk about school.
7. Get learned. That's all I've got right now, my gas tank is on empty in this department.
Moving on...
8. If you're going to drink milk out of one of those little cartons, make sure there are no floating
rotten chunks before you drink it. I still feel bad for Danielle in my first grade class who ended up with rotten milk chunks all over her face... Sorry Danielle.
9. It is not pronounced Sal-mon.
10. No matter how crazy nuts your family is, always give them love, be supportive, and then shake them hard and make it clear to them that they are acting crazy nuts because that's what families do.
11. Say thank you, or gracias, which ever you prefer (you can never be overly thankful)
12. If it doesn't matter in 5 years, then don't worry. ( sing bob marley's song and move on)
13. When an anorectal surgeon looks at you and says, "You are worthless, you're horrible, and you'll never be a good tech....swear word swear word swear word!!!" Prove him wrong. (They are naturally grumpy, don't take it personally)
14. Nod like you know what the pedicure ladies are saying in their foreign language and you won't hear one more peep from their sneaky little mouths...
15. Always leave a good tip.
16. The lost remote is always under the couch cushions.
17. Don't wack a tree with a bat unless you want a wasps nest to fall from that tree followed by 7 angry wasps stinging you at the same time.
18. When playing a sport, remind yourself frequently that it isn't the Olympics. (Maybe this is just for me)
19. The golden rule... If you don't have anything nice to say, put duct tape on your mouth.
Just be nice. You never know what someone is going through, and even if you think you really do..well you don't. Be loving. Be generous. Don't be quick to judge. In the end, we are all human, we all make mistakes. We are all learning the same lessons, just in different ways at different times. In the words of Highschool Musical "We're all in this together!" Help a brotha out! Teach someone a lesson, or better yet let someone teach you.
Love always,

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